Epiphany

"Sometimes in your life you will go on a journey. It will be the longest journey you have ever taken. It is the journey to find yourself." - Katherine Sharp 

I had an epiphany last night: I am on a journey! Yeah nothing profound and def not a new idea...it sounds simple to me too until I really put it into perspective...

I am on a journey to rediscover who I am. Starting this blog has gotten me to think about me & examining my thoughts more often. When trying to figure out what to write on I discover what makes me tick. I'm not the same person I was last year, last week or yesterday for that matter. As God continues to do a new work in me & I continue to long for His will for my life, I find I don't know much about myself anymore. My desires, thoughts, and passions are ever-changing. At 25, I'm finally stepping into the woman I was meant to be. I always thought I had my life planned out & knew exactly what I wanted until life starting happening to me. I'm learning that although people think they know who they are, you really don't. Yeah we have quirks and traits about us that will essentially remain the same but you will always be changing. As life happens, situations arise, challenges come...those things will keep molding you into a new person. I am beginning to discover and learn things about myself that I never knew. I will continually rediscover myself.

I am on a journey to selfish love. Being a wife & sahm I often neglect me. I put my family's needs, wants, and desires ahead of me. By the time I get done doing for others my energy is depleted and time has escaped me...i have just enough strength to take a hot shower & crawl in bed. I give all of me, saving none for myself. There are days were my hair isn't done & my best dressed days are sweats & an old tee. Putting myself on the back-burner has become old. I'm learning to take the time for myself, even if it means sneaking off quietly & shutting the door in a random room of the house. I am going to start taking care of me more often. What good am I to my husband and kids if I'm not making myself happy. They deserve to have the happy, creative, loving person that I am. Selfish love to me means loving myself more and more each day. Selfish love to me means indulging in myself for once before I love on (aka do for) others. Gaining a selfish love for myself does not mean that I forget about my obligations and responsibilities, it means that sometimes I will prioritize myself at the top of the list. I need to ensure my own happiness.

I am on a journey to a reinvented me. I realize I need to get myself in order spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. This time next year I want to feel and look totally different. I am on a mission to get my body in the best shape possible in all aspects. I am also on this transition to natural hair (which I will be talking about in my blog as well). I want to learn to love me in the natural state that I was meant to be in. I don't want to dress and look the same way I have been for the last few years. I want people to notice new things and be inspired to change as well. My goal is to reinvent myself to feel refreshed, and renewed. I will readily admit that I let motherhood take precedence over my looks. With all the things I need/have to do who has time or energy to put towards looking "fancy" lol? I'm in the house with a 2 & 1 year old...Seriously...what's wrong w/ leggings & a nice tee? The answer is absolutely nothing but I owe it to myself to add a "little extra" to feel/look like a million bucks to myself...

I am on a journey to ME and I'm loving it...its a whole new challenge that I am looking forward to accomplishing. This journey finally gives me something no one can join in on or take away from me. I don't have to share it, its mine to keep...and that's okay with me.